Finders Seekers

Looking for Answers

I have felt for some time that the purpose of my life is to answer the call of the great mystery; which is the seeking of a first hand experience with, and a living knowledge of, the divine. I wish to know where I came from…I want to commune through what feels like a separation between spirit and flesh with the glue that holds it all together. I desire a connectedness to something larger than myself. I have this in common with every human being who has ever lived on the planet because in this way we are all the same and every faith is the same…but first I had to learn what it means to seek and more importantly how to find that connection.

Seek, Allow, Find

Throughout my journey I came to realize that there are some steps one needs to take in order to find a spiritual connection. The first is developing an awareness that something is off about your human experience. This was for me, was the first stage of seeking this connection…I began to understand that I could become more than I was and I made the decision to let that desire to be more, guide me out of my comfort zone and into the unknown.

The next thing I gained was the understanding that I had to learn to question my current knowledge, to be willing to unlearn behaviors and methods of thinking that ultimately did not serve me and in the process develop openness within myself thereby allowing of the mysteries to reveal themselves within the realm of my experience.

Lastly, I had to learn that experience is my window to the divine and that my thoughts, emotions and inner state are all a guidance system designed to help me navigate my interior landscape. The path is an individual quest, one that must be sought after and executed by the person who wants to know…and one that ultimately leads to that from which you came…that which we call God. Myth expert Joseph Campbell sums it up beautifully with, “The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature.”

It Comes From Within

This for me, met the most resistance. It took the longest to learn because I was very frightened of what I would find on the journey inward. I was seeking because I sensed there was more…but spent my time looking in places where it could not actually be found. Seeking to know the divine set me on the path…yearning to understand began to change my heart but I could not know the infinite until I was ready to understand this one very important point…if I could not find it within myself, I would never find it without.

It reminds me in a way of the Lord of the Rings when the fellowship comes to the magically sealed doors of Moria. The riddle above the doors says “Speak friend and enter.” Gandolf assumes that it means if you are a friend, you speak the password and the doors will open, but it literally means to speak the word, friend. Similarly, I projected complexity into my pursuit of the divine. Jesus said, knock and the door will open…but somewhere along the way I had given my power to control the door over to the complexity…which was self created. I had forgotten that the door has always been within my control and that it is either opened or it is closed…it’s that simple. When the door is open I am able to bring aspects of the eternal into myself…and from that place…I experience divinity. The connectivity I seek is always there and always available…so then the deeper question at any moment is always, do I go inside and open the door?

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• Vera Nadine