Openess Determines Perspective

Starting the Day

Sebastian, my six year old son stops suddenly while putting on his shoes and says, “Maybe Mrs. Visaya (his first grade teacher) wants to be famous.” I pause a moment while tying his shoes to say, “What makes you think that?” He responds confidently, “She put blue ribbons on everyone’s folders!” “Ah,” I say, leaning back with my hands on my knees, “Then she’s famous already.” He smiles, puts his jacket on and heads off to catch the bus.

Just a few weeks ago the morning scene was very different. Sebastian did NOT like school. He talked endlessly about home schooling and that people were mean to him. We had several meetings with the teacher, she was not seeing anything unusual. Sebastian said most of the difficulty was on the playground so the recess teachers were alerted and a system was developed for him to report any difficulties. He developed confidence that he could get help if he needed it, so that made him feel a little better, however his attitude did not change much…he still didn’t want to go. The teachers were reporting that all was well, Sebastian himself had little to complain about but still felt the school was an unfriendly place.

The Epiphany

I talked with some of the other children at the bus stop that are in the same class and asked how they felt about school. They reported no problems with any of the children…no issues at all. Strange I thought…that these two experiences co-exist, or is it? Sebastian had moved to this school in October and as of yet had not made any friends. The lack of connection gave every little interaction a negative, unfriendly feel. The absence of friends was being reflected back in his school experience. Realizing that he needed to make friends, I tried asking him to pick one child at lunch time and ask them to play at recess.

The Bus Stop

Sebastian agreed to try it and got on the bus. As the bus pulled away…a neighbor who had literally just moved in flagged it down, it stopped and her son got on. Watching her son, I clearly saw Sebastian reflected in the hunched shoulders and unhappy walk…my feet were moving in her direction before my mind had decided to go. The bus pulled away and I introduced myself and asked what grade her son was in. She said Scott was in first grade and had not wanted to go to school that morning. We proceeded to have a conversation about our boys, how they both needed a friend and decided to get them together after school that day.

A Lunch of Importance

When Sebastian got off the bus that afternoon he excitedly told me he had lunch with another boy who asked HIM to PLAY. This to my knowledge was the first time he hadn’t played by himself at recess since he started school. They played a game of Star Wars. I smiled, the opening process had begun and he absolutely beamed with it.

The Big Meeting

While I was waiting for Sebastian to get off the bus, Scott’s mom came to join us. (The synchronicities of this meeting fill me with wonder and remind me how the universe responds to our needs as I would later come to find out that Rebecca also has a three year old daughter, works at Boeing just like my husband, loves the trails in our neighborhood just like we do and her husband’s family is from the same area as my husband’s…in fact my husband went to High School with his cousins!)

We introduced the boys and walked down to my house where they played outside for awhile. Scott’s mom was almost in tears, she said it was the first time she had seen him smile in a week. The boys instantly liked each other, when playtime was over they said goodbye and Sebastian looked forward to riding the bus with Scott the next day. Over the following week they met each other on the playground, rode to and from school together and have played the Xbox 360 at our house. Sebastian has an entirely different perspective of school now that he has a friend. One day I asked if he still wanted to home school and he said, “Not so much anymore, but thanks for asking Mom.” I smiled, knowing that he now felt connected to his school and home community. Often times we don’t realize how important our connectedness is and how when we lose our sense of it…it’s harder to open ourselves to good.

Opening

When we open ourselves up, good things can flow into us. Whatever we are feeling will often determine our perspective and result in our picture of reality. We determine whether that reality is something we enjoy or don’t by what we choose to focus on. When we focus on absence or loss…we don’t feel good and then our reality takes on a negative tone but when we focus on enjoyment and take some action to make a change…we open ourselves to the available good which is always waiting to manifest.