Removing the Fast Lane

Fast Lane Thinking

I live in the Seattle area where urbanites chug Starbucks driving their SUVs down traffic clogged roads. This is a land of Magellan equipped traffic adventurers racing against unknown masses of fellow drivers to be the first one down the hidden back roads of their environments in an illusive quest. For Seattle inhabitants the holy grail comes in the form of an easy commute. In this coffee powered, crowded city you can see Bill Gates’ house while stuck in traffic on the 520 and you’re absolutely certain he does not have this problem! Perhaps you too, if you make an insane amount of money just might be lucky enough to live near where you work but then ironically you would no longer need to get there

The Emerald City is full of fast everything junkies who purchase macchiato’s from drive through windows and have groceries delivered. In our microcosm of software and airplane giants…we fight for space on the roads, in parking lots, in work environments, schools and everywhere else and we are not alone as a similar picture exists in urban areas across the country. Seattle definitely has a fast lane, it’s not on the roads as anyone who has ever driven here would tell you…it’s in the mind.

Fast lane thinking is like breathing to most of our ambitious, career driven, ladder climbing city dwellers. It is the little voice in the back of your mind that chants the mantra of not enough. Not enough time, not enough good traffic, not enough money, not enough people who know how to merge, not enough good jobs, not enough parking spaces, not enough of me to go around, not enough good schools, etc. but it can also chant the mantra of too much; too many people, too many crazy drivers, too many coffee houses, too many stop lights, too many housing developments…well you get the idea. It all really boils down to a simple belief in lack.

When you exist in the world of not enough or too much you need to get there first, fight and struggle for what you have and you constantly fear that you will lose what little footholds you have gained. There is definitely an awareness that is rising among this group. They need to de-stress and they know it. To combat fast lane thinking there has been an explosion of facilities offering spa’s, massages, yoga classes, tai chi, acupuncture and a number of other services and though these practices really help…until you have identified the source of the problem they simply act as a stress band-aid.

Step One: Stop and Listen

O.K. This is going to sound really weird to some of you…but fast lane thinking is a choice. You make the choice to believe the ‘not enough’ or ‘too much’ voices. When you wake up 15 minutes late, and 15 minutes is the exactly what it takes to turn your half hour commute into an hour and half commute stop and notice what the voices are saying. Listen to them predict your traffic situation, berate you for not getting out of bed earlier, chastise you for the situation it will create at work and for how you’re now going to miss your kid’s soccer practice later on tonight all because of 15 minutes. Listen to this and then take back the control.

Step Two: Define the Facts

Look at the situation as it really is and stick to the facts which are always neutral. Fact one, I woke up fifteen minutes late. Fact two, if I continue along my normal routine this will increase my travel time to work. Notice that in looking at facts you feel no anxiety unless voices ‘not enough’ and ‘too much’ pipe up and start predicting various negative scenarios. Since you have not finished out your day (you are only at the beginning of it) it makes no sense to go ahead of the moment. Going ahead of the moment prevents you from being able to make a choice because you will blindly enter a reactive state in which all of your being is taken up with guarding and defending yourself from the perceived negative outcomes you believe you will encounter throughout the day. If you want to take control of your own direction stick to the facts, know that there is no real danger or threat, be gentle with yourself and move onto to step three.

Step Three: Use Your Feelings

Now it is time to decide what is important to you on this day. Look at your day objectively and pick out your needs and priorities:
I need to be kind to myself, I can’t skip breakfast or lunch because then I am not at my best.
I need a shower, it allows me to mentally move into my day.
I am not willing to give up my child’s soccer practice…this is important to me.
I have an important meeting this morning.

Rank them in order of how you feel about missing them. Place what you need to function at the top of your list.

Step Four: Allow Yourself to Let Go

Allow yourself permission to let go of things that may not fit on your list and or to perform the tasks that you must get done outside of your original expectations. I was supposed to go to the dry cleaners today I’ll do it on Wednesday instead, I intended to make a big dinner tonight but this is a great opportunity to try that new quick and easy recipe I found the other day, I was supposed to be in an early meeting… but I can always teleconference in.

By looking at your original expectations and modifying them to meet the needs of your current situation you are consciously deciding what you will participate in and at what level…you gain control over the voices and your day does not go careening off into the land of negativity.

These steps help prevent self-victimization. You become flexible and make choices you can feel good about. When fast lane thinking is no longer a driving force in your life, what’s good for you and not the situations you encounter becomes the criteria around which you shape your life…it’s a pretty simple way to reduce stress

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