If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
Have you ever chased passion to the threshold of sanity? Followed your soul to the dungeons gate or experienced a delirium so sweet that it defies verbal expression? Have you ever fought your way through unimaginable fear only to find that contained within it was the heart of your dreams?
Would you believe me if I told you that the real terror lies in discovering your destiny…in accepting your birthright and the enormous power that goes along with it?
There comes a time when we manifest our days from the content of our dreams…only to find ourselves no longer sleeping. Our chests heave with lungs full of breath and a budding new awareness begins to occupy every cell of our bodies. Suddenly we know who we are…we are awake, alive, conscious!
Discovering Your Power: The Hero’s Journey
Joseph Campbell described the purpose of life as undertaking the Hero’s Journey. This frame can be looked at in the large overall scheme of one’s life as well as the myriad smaller versions that happen every time we cross a threshold and move toward something spiritually new.
The pattern is separation - initiation - return; this requires a leaving of what is familiar into the unknown, a challenge or trial to face and overcome and a return that carries with it new information, a new social role and a new way of being in the world.
I was very familiar with this frame as a child…I resonated with it and just knew that I would be the kid to go on the big adventure. I would be the one who was lured by the unicorn to meet the dragon, receive the guidance of the old wizard and face the ultimate challenge for the sake of the greater good. My world as a child was full of mythical creatures and magical things, some of which looked normal by day and frightening by night.
I knew there were dark and scary things out there. I had come face to face with many of them at an early age…at that time the best I could do was survive.
But underneath the challenges of the world, there was a love that I could sense, a belonging and what seemed like a whole other secret dimension somewhere under the surface. It was a place that constantly changed like the shifting sand on the shore. I learned that I could sense it, feel it, see it and utterly experience it…like the ocean breeze, wild, free and available.
It was here I learned to go to escape pain…and to chase every passion driven adventure I’ve taken in life. The roads passion led me down were like a maze…the love I sensed was the prize at the end.
When I stepped out toward living on purpose (the separation portion of the journey)…I was to discover the beast hidden in the labyrinth was my wounded relationship with pleasure and that becoming whole would be my challenge.
The Challenge
I believe in transformation. I believe in unlimited resources. I believe that anything is possible.
However, I never applied this knowledge to the monsters of my childhood, somehow the idea that they could ever be transformed into anything beyond acceptance just hadn’t occurred to me. I had forgiven and had healed enough to allow a certain level of functionality but that was as far as I went.
That all changed one day when my husband asked me why it was I never told him how to pleasure me, why I never wanted anything from him in that way. My answer was I didn’t know…but I understood how unfair it was to him to always be in the position of receiving and never be able to give, so I decided in that moment that I was not going to live that way any longer.
Immediately dropping down inside of myself I asked, “Why don’t you know?” The response came quickly as I saw a part of myself floating away…to a safe place. This was the me who has a voice in the realms of physical pleasure and passion, the part that inhabits me when I feel and makes decisions about what is felt and what is denied…moving herself away from the body was an act of protection that had become a habit whether or not it was necessary.
It was the way she learned to use her voice…and to remain in control. It was clear to me as I stared into my husband’s eyes that it was time to learn something new, that this behavior no longer served me. Something inside stirred and awakened with the knowledge of a better way…
Beautiful Monsters: Choosing the Set for Your Story
What is painful? What is wrong? What is pleasurable? What is enjoyable?
All of these things are perceptions…categories, information and a storage system within the mind.
What happens if you put a memory in a different category? If you paint it a different color? Give it a new soundtrack? Or change who you are in that memory?
The memory shifts from something tragic, painful, hideous or difficult to something that’s o.k., enjoyable, powerful or even beautiful.
Monsters must have the proper set up in the story to remain monsters…and ugly must be made a space to remain ugly.
Let go of that space, change the story and the memory will transform. The monsters will cease to be scary…in fact, they may have a message for you, a vital piece of information, of learning that you will be grateful to receive.
Memories are changeable. The scene can be recreated, the actors can be assigned new roles, the emotional responses can be altered as well as the filters the mind uses to experience them.
Any memory can be transformed into something empowering…all it takes is an adventurer who is willing to undertake the journey, to become the hero and to accept the gift upon the return and an experienced guide.
Tower Rescue: The Return
Like the fairy tale princess, the part of me that was locked in the tower was given a ladder, in the form of my chakras, through which to re-enter the world.
When I started living on purpose I became aware of my life’s connection to passion. Working on opening up my first chakra to increase that connection is what my spirit was prompting me to do and ultimately it was what led me out on the call to adventure and to facing the challenge.
Now that I am back there is more of me to inhabit the world. It climbs down through my chakras on a river of energy created by passion and pleasure into this realm..the experience of which is a beautiful reflection of my soul.
