Saying YES to Your Spirit: A Coaching School Review!

How I Discovered Coaching

When I first became aware that I was on my Highest Path and Purpose it was very surreal.  I was enveloped in this energy that is securely anchored to Source and even though I had no idea where I was going – it was clear that Spirit was leading somewhere, leaving a trail of breadcrumbs for me to follow.

One day while at my computer I distinctly heard a voice (from outside of my own head) say life coach as if someone or something had been leaning over my right shoulder.  Now this really impacted me because clairaudience is not my usual channel and so I immediately typed it in the search bar to see what this life coaching thing was all about – where was this guidance leading?

As I searched I found several definitions of coaching and what really struck me about the modality is that you see your client as whole, capable and having all the internal resources they need to achieve whatever goal they may have.

My Definition of a Coach

A coach deploys what I call “full-body listening” in which they hold intense focus on their client (with no mental background chatter) using listening and their bodies response system as a way of syncing with the energy system of the client.

This allows them access to all the choices available, to see the situation from the client’s point of view, but also from many other directions as well.  By the coach holding this expanded space around their client and asking questions that guide the client toward the things that are available that they haven’t noticed or been able to see, the client becomes aware of more empowered paths and choices.

The NLP and Coaching Institute of California

One school in particular literally jumped out at me and when I talked to co-founder Kris Hallbom I was so pulled toward the NLPCA’s Coaching Program that I just knew (right then and there that somehow I would attend).

This program was a 23 day intensive.  At the time, my two young children were ages 4 and 7.  The intensive ran in July when the kids were off from school and my husband did not have the vacation to cover taking that much time off.  My mind looked at this situation and began to run statistics on the likelihood of this all working out, however Spirit was in the driver’s seat and simply said to Speak My Truth and trust what manifested.

When I spoke to my husband about it he was immediately on board as he saw what a great match it was to my natural tendencies.  The training itself was not all that expensive but hotel and food would kick it up a notch, regardless – he was willing to dip into our savings to send me.  His parents who are often busy, just happened to be available and were extremely excited about the prospect of having their grand kids all to themselves for several weeks for camping and other fun summer activities.  I watched in awestruck wonder as every little piece of what seemed impossible fell effortlessly into place!

The program itself was amazing. It was set just outside San Fransisco (one of my favorite cities ever!) in nearby and less expensive Burlingame where a quick drive would deposit you on the BART and into the heart of everything there is to do.

Operating Principles

We had five instructors who were the very embodiment of the teachings (each offering a vast amount of experience and a different area of expertise) over the duration of the course.  Covering a wide range of skills deeply anchored in the empowering perspectives of the NLP Operatives:

• Communication is redundant.
  You are always communicating, in all 3 major representational systems – auditory, visual and kinesthetic. You signal this through tone and tempo of your voice, posture, breathing patterns and gestures, as well as your language patterns and eye accessing cues.
• The meaning of your communication is the response that you get.
  Communication is not about what you intend, or about saying the right words; it’s about creating an experience in, and getting a response from, the listener. The “bottom line” is the response you elicit.
• The map is not the territory.
  People respond to their map of reality, not reality itself. NLP is the science of changing these maps (which then changes the way a person perceives and interacts with reality).
• Requisite variety.
  The element with in the system with the most flexibility will be the controlling element.
• People work perfectly.
  No one is wrong or broken; it’s simply a matter of finding out how they function now, so that you can effectively change that to something more useful or desirable. People don’t need to be “fixed”.
• People always make the best choice available to them at the time.
  (but often there are lots of better ones that they haven’t yet learned to access)
• Every behavior is useful in some context.
• Choice is better than no choice.
• Just about anyone can learn to do anything.
• People already have all the resources they need.
  What they need is access to these resources at the appropriate times and places.
• There is no such thing as failure only feedback.
  Every response can be utilized.
• Chunking.
  Anything can be accomplished (by anyone) if you break the task down into small enough chunks.
• Behind every behavior is a positive intent.
  While a behavior may be harmful or seem “bad”, there is always a positive intention behind the behavior.
• Symptoms – pains, anxiety, depression, tumors, colds, etc., are communications about needed action.
• We are all responsible for creating our own experience.
  Even when challenging events that we cannot control happen, we are responsible for our responses to the events. Typically we have much more control than we think we have. Another way of stating this presupposition is that “We consistently create our own environment” through our beliefs, filters, capabilities and behaviors.
• Energy flows where attention goes. (from Huna)

Learning to Coach

In the training we learned how to create the coaching state, holding the client from the viewpoint of the NLP presuppositions in total respect, while cultivating within ourselves a curious, not knowing state that allows our clients to go deep and find their own answers.  We learned to build trust to directionalize the conversation toward the client’s goals, to hold space for their agenda with active listening and specific questions, planning and action skills and how to create a meaningful metaphor on closing our sessions that the client could easily access to help them stay on target.

Coaching Skills and Tools

We learned the following coaching skills:

Accountability, Acknowledgment, Asking Permission, Bottom Lining, Challenging, Championing, Forward the Action, Goal Setting and Planning, Holding the Client’s Agenda, Inquiry, Intrude, Powerful Questions and Requesting Structures.

Along with these NLP skills:

Meta-Programing, Perceptual Positions, Neurological Level Alignment, Well-formed Outcomes, Backtracking, Universal Cycles of Change, Vision to Action, Ecology, Open Questions, Voting with Time, Energy and Money, Working with and Changing Beliefs (Six Step Reframing), Resonance Patterning and much more.

In Retrospect

This course really changed me.  I learned more about myself in 23 days than I had in many, many years and had the opportunity to shift many of my less productive mind patterns while we learned and practiced the material.

It helped me to embody an awakened Highest Path and Purpose perspective and I still rely on the mindsets and tools for creating shifts in perspectives that I learned in coaching in my personal walk everyday.

I made some amazing spiritual friendships and experienced as well as received much healing over the duration of the course.  In, fact you could very well say that this course is what awakened me to my path as a healer…it was the first step that I took toward that direction and I have never regretted it!

Reminder

For those of you who missed the teleclass on intuition the audio is available here (I’m still working out the technology end – so please excuse the static – it doesn’t last long) 

Special Offer

For those of you who might want to take up coaching, NLPCA is offering (this year only) a special price of $3600.00 for their training.  Be sure to head over to www.nlpca.com and check them out if you’ve been considering coach training!

My next post in this series will cover NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner training

Comments

By KL- Prana Flow NZ on April 29th, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Hey Paula,

Loved how succinctly you put all of this… and now I’m going to throw out a bit of a challenge, out of curiousity more than anything.

Behind every behaviour is a positive intent. How does murder or rape fit into this?

By Paula Kawal on April 30th, 2009 at 9:29 am

Hi KL,

Great question!!!

Rape and murder are not a single behavior but rather a set of behaviors that when combined together we place into a larger category that makes an evaluation of that set of behaviors – killing or sex is a more direct behavior than rape or murder.

The positive intent is not for the person whom the act is performed against, the positive intent in a situation like that would be for the person committing the act and when taken to higher levels usually involves a need for power or control over their lives – and when taken even further up (if they could get that power and control) – usually leads to a perceived better or happy life.

Creating a happy life for yourself is a noble goal – I think we can all agree that you are not going to get it, through rape and murder – however, we sometimes have our needs hardwired to behaviors that simply can not meet our needs and when this is the case the behavior continues in a loop that can not satisfy us.

In NLP we use the operatives because they are useful in producing change. If I have a behavior I don’t like about myself, I’m likely to make an enemy out of it – try to eliminate it – and in essence end up making things worse.

However, if I take it to another neurological level and try to understand what I’m trying to get for myself through this behavior, then I have a lot more options – because another way of getting my needs met is now available to me.

A good example of this in operation is a client who suffered terrible pains in her abdomen every time she needed to speak publicly. When we dove into her body and started communicating with her abdomen, we discovered that her body was trying to signal her to do her absolute best. Once she understood the message, she was able to appreciate this symptom she was having and made new arrangements with that part of her body for how she would prepare before these events so that it could relax and stop signaling her in this way.

I personally had a habit of constantly checking my email. I was wasting a lot of time always “checking in”. I solved this behavior by understanding I was trying to get a sense of connection for myself and building in other ways to be and feel connected to life

So behaviorally, we are driven by often unconscious, unmet needs. By discovering what those needs are (making them conscious), we create new choices for ourselves and as a result our behavior changes!

Much love and appreciation,

PK

By KL- Prana Flow NZ on May 2nd, 2009 at 6:29 pm

Cool – thanks for the indepth reply I really felt like I “got it” with that last paragraph about identifying needs and meeting them in other ways… so very true!

Blessings,
KL