Joseph Campbell – Finding Bliss

What each must seek in his life never was on land or sea. It is something out of his own unique potentiality for experience, something that never has been and never could have been experienced by anyone else. ~ JC

© copyright Joseph Campbell Foundation 2009

Joseph Campbell was born in White Plains, New York to a Roman Catholic family.  His road to mythology began with an interest in Native American stories as a child, through which he found greater insight into his own faith and a doorway to many others.

Myth became his passion and as he studied it, he began to map out the cohesive story threads that are constant in world mythology and in essence through myth gained insight into the sense of spirit people wordwide share – that drives our human experience.

Joseph Campbell has taught me that ~

Following Your Spirit Allows You to Truly Experience Life

My first exposure to the work of Joseph Campbell came through George Lucas and the orginal Star Wars films when I was about 8 years old.  George Lucas based his script on Joe’s book The Hero’s with a Thousand Faces and Campbell was even a mentor regarding the shape and impact of the story.  This is one of the earliest films that I can remember touching something so deep within me that I could only describe it as my core.  Though I didn’t understand it at the time I would get another opportunity at the age of twelve.

When I was twelve, I ran into The Dragonlance Chronicles and once again my spirit started to stir in a way that was familiar.  Tracy Hickman (one of the co-writers and the lead designer of this fantasy world) also based these books on the Hero’s Journey model.  Two years later, I would begin my first hero’s quest – it would not however, be the last

A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man. ~ JC (The Hero with a Thousand Faces)

The Hero’s Journey (Moving Beyond Your Small Self)

Journeying into the Unknown

1. Call to Adventure
   The hero always receives a call to move into the adventure which he/she must answer.  This call represents the unconscious and suppressed impulses of the spirit – and an opportunity for an awakening.  Sometimes these impulses are represented mythically as a dark forest, babbling spring, a great tree, a magical quest, chasing after a magical animal, following unusual sounds, etc.  In my own life it has come through acting on dreams and following intuitive impulses that my spirit has given to me and sometimes I just got swept into the journey by life circumstances seemingly without my consent!
2. Refusal of the Call
   Sometimes the hero chooses to refuse the call.  When he does he usually really suffers and the call passes into its negative form unless he changes his mind.  Walls from which he can’t escape close in around him and he becomes a victim needing to be saved, having failed to activate his own internal power.
3. Helper
   After the hero starts by answering the call (consciously or unconsciously) he will at some point meet someone who gives him some vital item or knowledge that will help him on his quest.  This could be a wizard or sorceress, a little man of the wood, a unicorn, a fairy God-mother or other such supernatural presence.  It could be a magical item, a phrase, or some information about the challenge that lies ahead.  In my own experience many teachers have appeared at this stage – often in dreams and meditations and sometimes as chance meetings and encounters with people that are just too precise and unlikely to be ignored.
4. Threshold Crossing
   In crossing the threshold the hero leaves what is known to him and enters the realm of the unknown.  This is the point where everything changes and the hero encounters dangers that are also bestowers of power.  For me this has often been times in which we have physically moved to new and unfamiliar realms or in which I have faced deep fears. However, your first sexual experience, marriage, children and other rites of passage also qualify.
5. The Belly of the Whale
   This is the final separation of the hero’s known world and self fully into the unknown and is often represented as his or her lowest point.  The experience is often something dark and frightening.  The willingness of the hero to enter is symbolic of their willingness to die to their old self, and their openness toward embracing something new.  In my own life the belly of the whale has had many shapes and forms; depression, alcoholism, confronting abusing situations, being made to face fears, surrendering control, etc.
   The Initiations
6. Tests and Trials
   The hero must overcome a series of tests or trials, through which aid is received from his or her supernatural helpers.  This is an act in which the hero begins to understand and embrace his or her own true nature.  The battle is really with the ego and the defeat of the limited self which often leads to the discovery of hidden abilities or power.
7. Meeting with the Goddess
   The Goddess in the hero’s journey represents an encounter with the Divine Feminine - she is all that lives and all that dies.  From womb to tomb the whole round of existence lives within her.  This is often depicted by the sacred or mystical marriage – representing the hero’s mastery over life through uniting with the Divine Feminine aspect of his or her own nature.  This is when the cycle of rebirth and this ultimate truth comes into full consciousness. Through this cycle of living in a world of inadequacies – there is bliss to be achieved again and again.  I’ve had many impactful encounters with the Goddess, the birth of my children and the death of my grandmothers and a time when she came to me as the Crone to name a few.
8. The Temptress
   The woman as temptress in the hero’s journey represents the distractions of the hero’s own earthly self and the unconscious revulsion he holds toward the acts of life in contrast with what he perceives as his pure Soul.  his encounter with the temptress is an opportunity for him to transcend his own divided nature.  I consistently encounted a male version of the temptress many times in my dreams  until I healed my relationship with my own sexuality.
9. Atonement with the Father
   Atonement with the father really means (at-one-ment).  This is where the hero is required to die to his or her own infantile and immature self as they face the force that holds the most power over their lives, proving themselves worthy to then govern themselves and through these trials, receive the blessings of the world.  Honestly, I am currently moving through this one and it is a BIG transition!
10. Apotheosis
    In Apotheosis the hero recognizes fully the God within – having fully left his or her the attachments to the mother, been delivered up and initiated by the father, died to ego and reborn to spirit they have moved beyond all strife.  This also represents the womb-like period of rest and incubation that precedes the hero’s return.
11. The Ultimate Boon
    This is when the hero achieves the goal of the quest, having been purified by his or her trials, the hero now has the maturity to receive the gift as a proper custodian.
    The Return
12. The Refusal of the Return
    The refusal of the return comes when the hero decides to stay in the presence of the Gods rather than bring back what he has learned for the renewal of his community.
13. The Magic Flight
    The magical flight occurs when the hero has obtained the boon without the blessings of its guardians, a pursuit follows and the hero’s need to escape these supernatural forces initiates the return.
14. Rescue from Without
    Just as the hero needs assistance to get in, he often needs help to get out – or that is to say the world has to come and get him for who having cast off the world is in a hurry to return?  The rescue differs from the refusal in the sense that when the world comes knocking, he agrees to return - having merely been transfixed or delayed by his new found perfect state of being.
15. Return Threshold Crossing
    The return threshold is returning from the world of the divine into the human world, only to find that though they once seemed as opposite as night and day, or life and death only that these vastly different kingdoms are one.  The hero ventures out into darkness where he is beyond our physical sight, has his adventure and then returns from the dimension of the Gods to the world we know.  The hero’s challenge is then to retain and translate his experiences from the deep into something the world can use – for it is difficult to to communicate to people who insist on the exclusive evidence of their senses the message of the all-generating void!
16. Master of the Two Worlds
    The hero gains an equal level of comfort with both inner and outer worlds (represented in myth by figures like Jesus and Buddah) having given up completely all attachment to his personal limitations, idiosyncrasies, hopes and fears and no longer resisting the self-annihilation that is a prerequisite to rebirth in the realization of truth, he exists in a way that is relaxed into whatever may come to pass in him, both worlds living in him with his unreserved consent.
17. Freedom to Live
    As the hero is released from the fear of death through the understanding and experience of his own immortal nature – he is finally free to live without anticipating the future or remorsing the past – he can live fully in the joy of each moment.

I use the hero’s journey as a model for transcendence extracted from myth. I see it as a how-to guide for navigating this experience – passed on to us – through the stories of an earlier time – whispering to our Souls through subconscious imagery and understandings. Joseph Campbell helped me to navigate these experiences with his vast body of work and amazing teachings.

I don’t have to have faith, I have experience. ~ JC

Joseph’s work also gave me the permission I needed to remain on the outside of religion, relying instead on my own personal experiences of spirit as my highest and best authority.

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. – JC

I gained the confidence to walk my own path, embracing all faiths I encounter along the way, noticing the beauty and truth of their teachings and using from them, whatever I am called toward, as my own.

Joseph Cambell was a man who understood being passionately alive, coining the phrase “Follow Your Bliss” and speaking tirelessly toward the unseen doors that lie there for us where before there were only walls. His willingness to say yes to the adventure and truly experience life is what makes him a Hero of Healing.

I haven’t been posting this week due to the profundity of my most recent experiences. I made a vow to focus my energy and intent on my personal relationship with Source and the Beings of Light that assist me in life and when I try to write about what has happened over the last week, all words seem to fall short of an accurate description.

One of these experiences however, I feel compelled to share, whether or not the words I use here fall short of actually conveying to you the magnitude of the process to which I was participant and witness.

The Archangel Gabriel has been working with me in a very personal way this week. He has shown me processes, systems, worked with me on illusions and abundance to name a few. I often do energy balancing on the treadmill, but this week I have been doing a lot more than usual. The balancing I do happens both before and during my workout and this day was no exception. I worked out and had a particularly enlightening session with Gabriel, St. Mary and St. Germain – I left the gym with my vibration so high, feeling so balanced that what happened next nearly threw me for a loop.

I returned from the work out, ate lunch and knelt before my alter – starting a conversation with Source. Immediately, I felt an extremely heavy, dark weight come up from the depths of my chest. It hurt, it was constricting and I was forced to double over with it. Immediately, I began to see it emerge from the depths of my being and form a ball in my heart chakra. Gabriel was instantly beside me and I asked him about this black sphere. He told me that it was my share of all the toxicity that I have created on this earth since my first incarnation on this planet.

At this point I began to cry for her – Oh, Mama – I’m sorry - I sobbed.  It was at that moment that I felt the magnitude of it – of my own unconsciousness over the course and history of my Soul.

I turned to Gabriel and asked, What do I do with this? He replied, You make a different choice. Within seconds I knew what I needed to do. I chose to take this from the earth and give her something she could use in it’s place – I did not know how I would do it – Source provided me grace though and that was all I needed.

Gabriel held the dark sphere in the space of Divine truth for me and I passed it to the Archangel Michael. Michael used the blue fire of God to purify it – until it was ablaze with Divine Light. At that point the torch was passed to the Archangel Raphael who brought it to a state of balance and wholeness – infusing it with his green/gold light. From there it went to Uriel who filled it with the vibration of Divine Love and then on to Ariel, who with the greatest of compassion, showered the earth with this new revitalizing energy.

I felt the lightness immediately as the ball transformed and my vibration soared even higher still. Gabriel, I said, thank you.

I now understand an aspect of spiritual abundance that was previously lost on me. It’s the greatest recycling process the world has ever known – and we can all do it – all that is required is that we release – we can let go of our darkness (our illusions, programs and anything and everything that is not real) to the purification of the Light which turns it into something we can reintegrate, balance and harmonize.

All we have to do is give it to Angels, tell them we no longer desire, need or have any attachment to it and they will take care of the rest – the only caveat is that we have to be extremely honest and really want to let it go -  we can decieve ourselves and often times do – but Spirit doesn’t buy into our illusions, walks in Divine Truth and sees through us every time

What does your Spirit want to let go of?  What comes up from the depths of your being for transformation and release?

Photo By Xnir.com

Awoken from a Dream

Last week my husband and kids got a stomach virus all at the same time. I was the only one who was well and I spent several days and nights rushing from person to person doing anything I could to make them comfortable. As they were recovering, I energetically as well as physically cleaned house before becoming ill myself.

I awoke the morning after they were all on the mend to a shift in my body, so I tuned into my own energy throughout the day allowing my physical form to instruct me on how to care for it. I was so grateful for its wisdom, I felt like I had access to the ultimate healer/physician and so I paid close attention to its every need. I sent my body a lot of love and moved through it all with great ease. I was mostly just depleted of energy and I had nearly recovered within the span of a day.

The next evening I was awoken by our daughter who was standing next to the bed stroking my right arm. As I came to full conscious awareness I found that I had been holding my Archangel Michael Pendant while I slept in my left hand. Knowing that this had some sort of significance, I helped my daughter get back to sleep and mentally stored this piece of information for the waking hours ahead.

An Unexpected Reading

That morning, I was concerned about leaving for my NLP Master Practitioner training in San Francisco. Our son had been on again off again sick with the various parts of the virus. Instead of getting it all at once as his father and sister had, he was getting it in stages that were a few days apart. While I was recovered, my energy was still balancing and I felt like I needed to be very gentle with myself.

My friend Raj (who also attends the training) always picks me up from the airport so I phoned him to tell him how I was feeling. During the course of the conversation he gave me a quick reading. As he prepared I grounded and opened myself to source energy. Immediately an image of appeared. I was walking toward a triangular shaped mountain with a jagged snow line. On my left side was the Archangel Michael and on my right the Archangel Raphael. It felt like being brought forth toward Source, like an initiation of light.

The Pendant Meditation

During the weekend the subject of my Archangel Michael Pendant came up often. People who are energetically sensitive are drawn toward it…as if it is communicating something to them on a spiritual level. These attractions and conversations generate the sense of a deep soul level relationship as we recognize the significance of meeting someone who is on our spiritual path of growth.

Considering all of this, it is not surprising that a group of us began to hold it, seeing what we sensed as we did. Raj held it and said that he could hear it speaking but he couldn’t understand what it was saying; he urged me to connect with the pendant and find out. So while we were on our way to a fellow practitioner’s house to watch a viewing of the Princess Bride, he led me through an exercise to find out.

I went into a very deep trance despite being in a Mustang that literally excels at noticing every bump in the road and here is what I found:

The pendant showed me a radio dial and tuning into a clear channel. Raj asked what the pendant is telling me to do and the words, BE YOUR TRUTH came. So then he asked, “How do you be your truth?” I was given the answer, by walking the path of light and love.

Then he queried, “And how do you walk the path of light and love?” At this point I was shown the path directly out in front of me…an intense sense of desire, will and passion emanating from my solar plexus began to form an energetic attraction to the path and I simply replied…I must want to…but there was so much more than these words to that simple realization.

This did not mean mind wanting alone…this meant full body…wanting…the kind of wanting that moves you without your conscious awareness that you have moved.

Compassion and Jesus

The next morning I entered a meditation in which I wanted to get clear about my truth and what the path of love and light means for me. So I went to the place where I usually convene with my higher self, spirit guides and angels. I sat watching the sunrise over the ocean view from an ancient stone wall when I noticed Jesus approaching, flanked by Archangel’s Michael and Raphael.

I moved forward to greet him when he said quite abruptly, yet full of love and compassion that my heart was too small. He reached into my chest, pulled my heart out to where we could both see it, stretched it to an enormous proportion and then returned it to my chest cavity.

I sank to the ground with its weight as I watched him wave and begin to walk away. “Allow yourself to receive love,” he said, “It is always available.” At the sound of his words the new heart in my chest opened like a sponge and beautiful golden light began to flow into it from every direction. Jesus continued, “Love is in the air you breathe, the sunlight that falls on your skin, the animals, plants, trees and in the very gaps of space that create life itself. It’s in silence and it’s in sound. It’s in the people around you…and it’s in you.”

But what about the path of light and my truth? I thought toward his retreating form. “I’ll leave that to Sylvia (my higher self) to explain,” he said. O.k. yes, I thought, but please leave Michael here with me…and in a flash the Archangel was by my side. I gazed out toward Jesus in the distance noticing Michael still walking beside him…looking up into the Archangel’s face I smiled at just how habitual the programmed limitations of the mind are.

The Meaning of the Path

Sylvia spoke from the stone wall where she had been standing. Focus on your heart, she said. Place your full attention on it’s center, be there with it…and notice it deeply.

I did as she said and found myself in a darkened room. All around me were the silhouettes of pregnant bodies, inside the large abdomens were beautiful children of light. I rushed around to each tummy full of child, placed my head against them and spoke loving words of excited encouragement. I was filled with anticipation and couldn’t wait to welcome these radiant souls into the world.

Soon, I began leading the forms to a birthing room. There I helped and witnessed each child be born. I was the first person to hold them and see their beauty and perfection. As I held them and wrapped them up in love…I began to hear their song of light.

I listened for awhile, humming the tune to the infants, noticing their nuances of excitement in response. Then I handed them off to their parents…who would assist them in entering their world. At various stages of development they return for a visit. I again, noticed their beauty and perfection, together we sang the song…and from this place of love I tell them how they’ve grown. They ask me questions and I listen to them deeply…from the level of my soul, providing directional assistance while knowing fully…the curiosity, wonder, excitement, love and pure potentiality that accompanies them on their journey.

Back to Class

Later on that day, I am assisted by the Archangel Raphael in helping a classmate who is a budding empathic healer gain control of her energy after she unintentionally healed another attendee in tears over the difficulty involved in the previous day’s processes.

We hug each other as she comes fully back into herself and her own Source infused balanced energy.

The same love that I felt while holding the babies in my meditation bursts forth from my heart chakra. With Raphael’s gentle and glowing form in my mind, I smile…allow the love to flow and think…ain’t life grand?

Image By Weirena

Dream Attractions

Some of my most transformational experiences have been heralded by Spirit Animals and dreams. My first Spirit Animal was the wolf. When I was fifteen I dreamed of them constantly and then could not stop my mind from wandering back to my dreams. Like the tongue that endlessly explores the empty cavity of a lost tooth…every time my focus slipped and I became lost in thought, I was back with the wolves.

I was practically getting beat over the head with the message and finally one day while in the grocery store with my mother I found the next step. There on the wall where people post items for sale was an index card advertising Wolf-Hybrid pups for sale.

My mom said that they were too expensive so I pleaded with her to let me call and ask if the man would accept payments. She said he wouldn’t but consented to the call and guess what, he did. I took home a wolf-pup and about a week later my mom made me return it, afraid that it’s play would be too much for her toy Pomeranians. When we returned the pup to the breeder, he asked my mom out on a date and two weeks later they were married.

This was the beginning of a new life and an amazing adventure…

Messages in Dreams

Dreams still provide me with extremely strong guidance and I am aware that I travel astrally while I sleep to people who need my assistance. Upon awakening I know I’ve been with them, even though I don’t usually remember the content surrounding our night time activities.

With dreams, I find to uncover their meanings you have to understand the language of the unconscious mind. Those who are psychically inclined are usually very good at this because the same systems are in use in both places. Basically you will rely much more on how you feel and the images and events are strung together to communicate something very specific to your experience.

No dream book can help you in this respect because much of it is determined by how well you know yourself…this will define the meaning of what the images represent to you. The more emotionally honest you can be, the better you will be able to interpret the feeling systems that were engaged and the lessons or guidance that is being revealed.

Dreams always call our attention to areas of our lives that could use introspection, action, healing or some other form of growth. Sometimes they are a window into an upcoming experience, sometimes into our fears and insecurities, sometimes into our greatest hopes and life purposes but always they hold information that can be very transformational when used for growth.

Developing Muscle in the Land of the Unconscious

Several things are helpful for growing your skills with the unconscious mind.

Hold Information Loosely. If you take the endeavor too seriously you are likely to get in your own way. What I mean by this is that you want a meaning so badly that you miss it altogether. Developing a light touch helps enormously, allowing yourself to play with it, to be wrong, to learn, to make your best guess and then see what happens will get you further along with this.

Keep a Dream & Trance Journal. Keeping a journal of your dream and trance work is really helpful. First off, it helps you to remember the details of what you heard, saw, felt, smelled, tasted, etc. Notice also how it looked, was it grainy, clear, bright, big, were you overly large or small. Keep track of the details and of your initial impressions, gut feelings, what was most compelling about it and why you feel that way…i.e. what it reminds you of.

Keep a Daily Journal. Your daily journal is where you are likely to notice the dream work and waking world overlap. In writing a daily journal you will take your observing dream self into your waking world and through the writing about your experiences you are likely to notice situations that felt similar to things you experienced in dreams and trance, laying the ground work in your thinking for correlation and reference.

Elicit Symbolic Response. This is a really fun practice that will sharpen your skills significantly. It is a way of speaking to your unconscious and drawing out from it a symbolic representation of a concept. Start with some experience to which you would like a symbolic reference. Begin breathing deeply and find a really fun memory or high moment, allowing it to play out in your mind to the end.

Take a few more deep breaths and ask yourself for a symbol of what this experience means to you…some kind of metaphor and just wait for it to come up. You may hear a word, see a sign, get a fragrance or a taste or any combination of these modes. Write down what you got and play with recalling the symbol and see how it brings up all the feelings that were contained within your experience.

This is a great way to start building a two-way communication system with this most mysterious aspect of your own psyche! And it gets really fun when you figure out how to consciously harness the power of your unconscious mind and with it, begin to co-create your living experience

Of course…a good coach helps with this as well!

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Trail of Breadcrumbs

The Archangel Michael has been trying to get my attention for several weeks. These subtle communications began with work I was doing with another coach. I was coaching her to start her new career which combines a wellness food and supplement store with her health coaching services. When she found her store location she said there was a shop next door to it that always reminded her of me and she sent me a link to their website. From there I was led to the Archangel Michael pendant.

Michael kept showing me images of my spiritual self wearing the pendant and then in my NLP Practitioner group I became aware of a lady who channels angel healing and I watched her perform one on my friend Raj. I could literally feel the energy radiating out from her and affecting certain areas of my body even though she was not doing the healing for me.

To be honest I wasn’t at all sure what Michael was trying to tell me at first. I searched the internet for angel attunements, I looked up Reiki courses and tried searching for Michael in every way I could think of hoping he would lead me to some better understanding.

Angel Communication: If Subtle Hints Don’t Work…They Use a Hammer!

Then my daughter brought home a whopper of a virus, knocking us out of commission for nearly a week with skyrocketing fevers and terrible congestion. I was the last to get it and knowing that I allowed myself to become sick was like an alarm bell going off saying, what have I been ignoring that I need to take care of?

I thought maybe it was some accounting organization that was on my “to do” list…I cleared that out and it didn’t help. So then, I moved onto these all important “must have” documents I’ve been meaning to finish. I completed my revocable trust, will, my health and financial powers of attorney and still…nothing. Finally, after taking both of my children to the doctor and learning that they each had ear infections it clicked…I’m not listening…that is what this illness is trying to tell me.

Surrender

I already knew who it was I needed to listen to but I was bewildered because I had been looking for signs. Finally, the house cleared out for a day as the children and husband resumed a normal schedule and I surrendered. Michael, I said, I don’t know what you want…please show me.

The Attunement

I took the dog for a walk on the trails behind the house as I find the nature setting enhances my ability to receive messages as does the exercise. While walking with her I went off into a whole other world entirely safe under her watchful gaze, unconsciously moving along this trail we know so well.

Michael told me he wanted to teach me how to attune with him. He gave me a set of instructions which I followed to raise each of my chakras to his vibrational frequency.

Then he ran his energy through them, sprang forth from my crown chakra and bombarded me with light until we were deep into the void…nothing existed outside of the light…that’s all that there was.

When I returned to myself I found him standing directly behind me but it was more like he was standing inside of me except that he is sooo enormous he hovers high above my head. I understood that I was now an extension of his hands and a channel for his energy.

More on Mission

During this process Michael showed me a rapidly playing movie that explained the necessity of this energy connection with him and I received a lot more information than I knew previously about what my soul agreed to do on this planet.

In this movie was a map with points of light (representing geographic areas of high spiritual vibration, potential points for movements in the expansion of human consciousness), Michael explained that he has been with me from birth for the purpose of supporting those areas and that this mission is one that has been passed down to me through my Grandmother’s family in Cedaredge.

At this point he turned the conversation over to my Higher Self who explained some of the major turning points that happened last year and how they are significant in the present.

As I left the trail, Michael said the attunement process would continue for awhile and that I would receive a sign when it was complete, at this, he once again showed me his pendant.

Energy Shifts

When I returned home from the walk I went by a mirror as I removed my coat and stared into the largely dilated pupils of someone in deep trance. This didn’t really surprise me as it took me quite some time to get fully back into my body.

Something about the shift in energy made me simply irresistible to my dog though. First she tried to get all of her massive German Shepherd self into my lap for a cuddle and when that didn’t go to her satisfaction she followed me all around the house for a time whining audibly if I traveled to an area in which she is not allowed to go

Even the neighbor’s dog seemed affected as she ran tearing out of her yard toward me when she saw me out to check the mail…when she finally caught up with me she danced with her ears back begging to be stroked.

It’s funny how animals are often the first to respond to changing energy, come to think of it my palm chakras opened for the first time during the attunement, perhaps there is more to this petting stuff than I realized

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The Meaning of Tears

Here they come again. Wet, hot tears…streaming down my face, wracking sobs buckle me over and I wonder once again why this would be? After all I knew this was coming, Grandma showed me everything I could want to know and more…so why am I overtaken like this.

Why don’t you ask the part of you who cries? Knowing-ness queried. Hmmm, I hadn’t thought of that. So I drop down inside, identify the part and I ask, what are you trying to tell me?

Rising up in front of my face very close is a red faced little girl. She’s me and she clenches her fist in my direction and shouts, Don’t you ever forget how much I love her! Don’t you ever forget her!

I draw her up in my arms and comfort her. I know you loved your Grandma, I love her too. It’s o.k. I’ll never forget. As I make this promise the feeling sinks back down to the depths from which it came.

Looking for a Sign

The last time I spiritually saw Grandma was on the day she died. I’ve felt her and heard her but could not detect her with my spiritual sight. I wondered at this; unconsciously looking for a sign.

Grandma’s Message

Then while listening to a new CD I got for Christmas I received one. “She’s Too Much”, played and I experienced the rising tears again. I told the part, I’ll always remember her and I’ll always love her but there was something more the part wanted me to know.

As I tuned into it I saw Grandma standing there…swaying to the music singing…

she’s gentle to the touch
she’s everything head-first
so happy to be causing trouble
sometimes the pressure gets too much
and you think she’s going to burst
and shatter like a Xmas bauble

I’ll be there when the world is coming down upon her
when she’s scared I’ll be there fighting in her corner
I’ll be there when the walls are closing to surround her
in the air as she falls with my arms around her
holding on I’m looking out for her thin skin
because she’s everything – and I don’t think she knows

She’s such a gentle touch
She’s too much a gentle touch

she likes to catch the sun
plays with it like a ball
and never mind whatever keeps it burning
someday she might just be the one
who’s going to save us all
if this apocalypse is coming

I’ll be there when the world is coming down upon her
when she’s scared I’ll be there fighting in her corner
I’ll be there when the walls are closing to surround her
in the air as she falls with my arms around her
holding on I’m looking out for her thin skin
because she’s everything – but I don’t think she knows
I don’t think she knows

she is such – a gentle touch – I don’t think she knows
she’s too much – the gentle touch – I don’t think she knows
she is such – a gentle touch – I don’t think she knows
she’s too much – the gentle touch

Lyrics: Simon Le Bon
Music: Duran Duran
© 2007 Skin Divers

The Queen of Hearts

My Grandma’s spirit is strong, her presence is more like that of the angels I’ve experienced than any other energy I’ve encountered so far.

In life she was always a source of cheer, love and protection. It would appear from her message that none of that has changed

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Messages From Guides

Many signposts are written, many messages are sent…the question is how you do use the information you receive.

My guides tell me that they are always communicating with us, when I asked them about why I’ve had such heightened experiences with them over the past year they indicated it was because my awareness had grown to a level where I actually began to act on what I received in a way that allowed the experience to grow and they indicated that one of the biggest mistakes people make with their guides lies in the way that they attach meaning to the messages.

Like learning a new language, you have to wait for the context and just assume you don’t know. When I began to just hold what I received and take an attitude of curiosity about it, that’s when it really started to take off.

I feel that the final chapter of this series that commenced earlier in the year due to a psychic encounter with my great grandfather Ernest, illustrates this very well. You can find the previous entries in the series here: part one and part two.

Following Intuition

Ernest showed me scenes from his family’s passage from Denver to the town of Cedaredge, CO by train and the trunk that carried all of his belongings to their new homestead when he was just fourteen years of age.

Following his promptings to visit the area, I went to see my grandmother in August, arriving on her birthday. Since she could no longer speak to me due to advanced Alzheimer’s, I curled up next to her on the bed and communicated with her through the only method I had available to me…trance.

The first thing I noticed from years of burying my head into her for gigantic hugs as a child was the acidic undertone that hung against the comforting scent of the woman who had always been a second mother to me. Though I didn’t realize it at the time, my senses were the first to pick up the shifting energy.

My grandmother and I spoke for some time while I was in trance state. We hadn’t talked for long before she mentioned her dad coming to pick her up, showing me a mental movie of him walking through the door and herself as a child of about five running to his open arms for an embrace. He picked her up, gave me a nod and said, It’s time to go see mother. And with that he headed into the early winter evening with my grandmother in his arms toward a small house full of people waiting for them to arrive.

Loose Ends

On December 29th, I received an e-mail from my Aunt saying that my grandmother had given them a scare but seemed to be doing better now. I immediately went into meditation connecting with her only to find that everything was different…I knew she was dying.

My grandmother had been bedridden with Alzheimer’s for years. I always thought there must have been a reason for her to hang on all of this time. Even so, I was surprised to find her in turmoil when I entered her energy as she had been so congruent the last time I communicated with her. I asked her to show me what she was experiencing that was causing this distress.

A glowing scroll-like paper appeared and I knew immediately that all of this centered around some sort of spiritual contract that was still playing out in her energy. As I focused on it, the scene rolled out before me.

There was an inn-like structure in which my grandmother and another woman were holed up. A threat was underway and they were frightened for their lives. A man whom I recognized as one of my uncle’s entered the inn door through the shadows and was erroneously perceived as an enemy by my grandmother who stabbed and killed him.

I got the sense through all of this that my uncle was a very loved and respected man, so it was quite tragic and horrific to them losing him in this way.

In this life, however, the cycle was to play out differently. My uncle has had a troubled life from a very early age. My grandmother always tried to help and protect him, in fact he still lived with her up until the disease advanced beyond her ability to care for him. His anger and vehemence toward life was getting worse so they were separated by force before they got the chance to live out the remainder of their karmic debt.

In viewing this movie of their past life interaction I was gifted with a huge moment of understanding regarding their close bond in life. I called them to me and together we viewed what happened as a group, my grandmother to my right and my uncle to my left.

I mediated by talking about how hurting each other was never an intent but rather a result of circumstance and asked each of them if they were ready to rewrite this contract rather than allow it to play out again. From this vantage point in which they had more information it was easy for them to see how unnecessary it was to continue any further with it and the contract dissolved at the moment of their agreement.

Leaving or Getting Home?

Later on that day my grandmother died very quickly, and with ease. Her father had come to take her home on the same day he departed this earth 48 years before…just as she showed me he would.

When I look back on what I have experienced, I am very grateful that I acted on the information I was given with openness and curiosity about where it would lead because that is what allowed me to receive it fully. As a result, I was present for my grandmother’s last birthday which was immensely important to me. Had I doubted what I received I would have missed it and rationalized my way out of taking the trip. Instead, I did not allow the rational mind to come in and switch things off…so I was then able to be of assistance in clearing her karmic debt before she passed as well.

Paradigm Shift

On December 30th, my husband’s birthday, I received confirmation from my mom that grandma had gone. As a day that our family traditionally celebrates life, I thought it appropriate to buy a bouquet of lilies as a space holder for my grandmother. With their energy I created a place at our table for her to join us…and I know she’s with us still

When I think about life/death and time, I’m filled with awe. There is a reverence within me that accompanies thoughts of the void; the door that swings both ways through consciousness moving in and out of form in this dance that we describe as life.

This same deep, void is the pool from which our intuition springs…and perhaps therein lies some of the mystery. Every time I use my intuition I think of it as dipping into that pool and swimming with the universe which runs through every thing and every one I’ve ever loved. My thoughts for the new year revolve around swimming there often with curiosity and acceptance of whatever new adventures life brings.

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Experiencing the Gift of Winter

This time of year Washington State is gray and wet. The sun did not come up until past 8am this morning and it will be dark shortly after 4pm.

As I ponder the waning light something holy within me stirs. Approaching the shortest day of the year doesn’t bring the winter blues it once did, instead, my awareness gravitates toward the sacred within me that revels in the feeling of absolute silence, in no-thing-ness. I go further down and it sings to my spiritual ears like a heavenly choir and what I imagine must be angelic voices…emanating peace, joy and a complete center of being-ness.

The very earth herself whispers to me of sleeping in dark, warms spaces, of the womb and the possibility that lies in the miracle of rebirth. In total awe, I experience the message of this season that speaks of rest, rejuvenation and completeness…of being whole. Of the way of being before dualism and the split of segmented sexes…the way of being in and of ourselves complete.

The feeling travels me down the course of eternity, to depths that were previously unimaginable. To the solid, sure, core which is synonymous with possibility, dreams and the spark of creation…to this place my soul takes me and the word that comes is home.

The Soul’s Longing for Home

In the above passage I took you on a little soul journey of what the holiday season means to me at levels deeper than the rituals we perform each in year to celebrate.

This is a time of year that is often full of longing for joyful celebration and the deep connections of family and home but have you ever stopped to question that longing? Why does it drive you home each year? What does it want?

Over the years I have come to understand that as humans we come into the world with an inborn desire for family. Recently I asked those questions and the answer that came back was a little surprising to me.

For me being close to my family is symbolic of my deep seeded need to truly know and experience the joy of connecting with who and what I really am.

How interesting that the first view we develop of ourselves comes from the mirrors of our family and that what we see there causes us to cycle between wanting to get away from them and wanting to go back…wanting them to anchor us and wanting them to let us go.

Our families are our starting point of awareness and our movement within them represents the ebb and flow of the life to which we go and from which we come.

This holiday season I’m expressing gratitude for my family, who has assisted me in growing my consciousness and developing awareness in more ways than they will ever know.

Merry Christmas!

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The vision started while I was walking my dog on the wooded bike trails behind our house. I rounded a corner and came face to face with the body of a man out in the cold. His crisp blue eyes were trapped in a frozen gaze. I noticed the honey color of his hair and mustaches…a part of me recognizing him, yet I did not know him from this life.

As I watched, I saw myself drop down beside him from atop a horse, close his eyes with my fingertips and say a prayer as I silently took in how he had died. I heard my inner dialog speak of waste, it appeared he simply was unable to make it back to the settlement.

Initiating Past Life Memories

The above scene came to me not long after setting an intent to understand any past life lessons that held significance in this current life. I idea of past lives was unsettling to me at first. A part of me wanted to know and a part of me wanted to run away from whatever may have happened before. It was not until I became congruent with my desire to grow, and use past lives to do it, that I actually remembered one.

How Can Remembering a Past Life Help Now?

There are many ways in which remembering a past life can be helpful. Some will point out to you why you have always been attracted to certain time periods, cultures or ways of life, why certain places, people or things can seem so familiar or why you are locked in a certain pattern of behavior or in relationships with certain people.

Past lives represent the opportunity to resolve long standing resentments, passions, agreements and other forms of energy contracts we with make with others that carry on from lifetime to lifetime. With the past lifetimes resolved you can more easily fulfill your purpose in this one.

It is a way of bringing all of the strength, knowledge and wisdom you acquired over the lengths of several spans of human existence into the life that you’re currently living.

How Do I Know if Something I’m Experiencing is Past Life Related?

First and foremost, ask yourself. Your spirit knows and will give you an honest answer. Some other ways of noticing telltale signs of past life experiences are instances of deja vu or a feeling of unfounded recognition and knowing, extremely strong emotional reactions that seem to be out of place for your current experiences and unexplainable attraction so deep that you seem to move without the permission of your mind toward this person, place or thing.

The Opportunity to Heal

Understanding ourselves from the perspective of a previous life time can make sense of some of the people and situations that surround us in our current one. Meeting people that we have history with can be very difficult in the here and now, understanding what that history is, helps us transmute the situation into an opportunity to heal.

I was atop a castle wall standing amongst loyal men and my husband, watching my knight ride forth into battle against another army. I saw him strong and shining fight on as his men fell around him until he was knocked from his horse.

I did not think, I simply lept from the wall and turned into a great white dragon. I flew to him, sheltering him with my enormous body as I transformed back into myself. I was actually more fierce and wild looking as the woman! The men that had been surrounding him fled, their battle lust driven from them by the sight of the dragon.

Pulling his helmet from sweat soaked hair, I moved to support his head in my arms and noticed as I did the great gash in his torso. I placed my hand on the wound and prepared to heal him when he grasped my hand and said, “No.” He continued, “ There is no other place I’d rather die than in your arms…it’s better this way. This way, I can take our love onto the next life knowing that neither of us betrayed our vows for the of sake it.”

I buried my face into his neck and shoulders and wept. I could not act against his will and so we held each other until he took his last shuddering breath… “In the next life, my love,” I whispered, “In the next life.”

When I encountered this knight in my current life our roles were reversed. The attraction and need for a relationship with one another possessed a power of its own. So we lived through it once more, transmuting the bond that tied us together through time. Eventually, we were free, and moved on to the real reason we came into our here and now, wiser and better prepared…having learned from each other what it was that we really needed to share.

I know some people who are currently caught up in reliving past life interactions with each other. You never stop learning from past life experiences. They are powerful teachers when re-lived and they are even more powerful when transmuted, which leads me to the next subject.

Past Life Workshops & Coaching

I have plans of putting together some special workshops featuring past life integration, dream work & trance and a line of coaching that specializes in past life work. If you’re interested in the workshops please e-mail me, and I’ll get more information to you, I need to gauge interest before setting a date.

And if you found the story of this past/present romance intriguing and suspect that there is a lot more to this than I have mentioned here, I would like to say, that you’re intuition has not misguided you. Although it is too long for a blog post, I did include the story of this entire past life and all of the ways it unfolded into my current one, in my upcoming book.

Hopefully you’ll be able to satiate your curiosity for the details soon!

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Energy imbalance happens. For me, it started a few weeks ago after my husband issued me a growth challenge. You know, the kind that once it’s been uttered makes a part of you cringe in the corner and whimper…it had to be that one, didn’t it?

I knew the time was right to face this particular challenge however and I did my part, I got in there and I met it head on. This did not occur without creating an imbalance though. I was so focused on the challenge that I did not pay as close attention to all the signs and signals I usually monitor in the world around me that help to keep me aligned.

So I didn’t pay attention. I just kept on going. I knew that my energy was off, but I just kept focused thinking it would balance out soon.

Getting My Attention

It didn’t though. A message was trying to come through…something was out to get my attention and it appeared that it would do whatever was necessary. So, as these things will commonly manifest, my son came home from school with a cold so nasty it halted family productivity for a week. Every single one of us got it.

Sick, sniffling, barely able to talk I asked myself why I had gone along with being sick. The usual, perhaps you wanted to get out of doing certain things, answer came up but it was hollow. There was some truth to that but it didn’t stick. It took several more days and feelings unwarranted of by my life situation before I was ready to find out.

The Sticking Place

I called my friend Raj to say that something deeply unconscious was trying to make it’s way up to the surface. I wanted his help in speaking with it. He asked if I had checked to see if anything was in my energy space. I hadn’t done this, so he quickly told me what to do, I thanked him for his help and we agreed to talk again later on in the week.

When I entered into my energy something was there. It was a great big ape-like creature hunkering in the darkness. On its head was a single horn. He had such a look of disheartened sadness upon his face that I felt it burrow into my chest. Silently the eyes probed me. What they were searching for I felt more than understood. My heart went out to this creature and I asked it, “Who are you? Why are you here?”

“I am your strength.” he said, “I can not leave.” I stared at him uncomprehending and bewildered. Why on earth is my strength in this condition? Why is it outside of me? What is this energy surrounding it…like a bird with broken wings??? It seems like he should fly I thought, and the thought gave him a pair of wings that began to flap in a wild attempt to lift him from the ground and that was when I became aware of the chain. I ordered the wings to stop and my right arm became an extension of light that took on the hardness and edge of a sword. With my light saber arm, I easily cut the bonds of his restraints and the creature became surrounded by light that emanated from its horn…it was metamorphosing.

I came out of the meditation with two things; the first was the release of the energy imbalance and illness I had been experiencing for the past few weeks and second was an understanding that I had just encountered a teaching. Somehow, I had chained, shackled and locked up my strength and power. Like the cocooned butterfly, the bird that takes to wing and the flower that bursts forth to bloom one can only stay in their place of protection for so long before they outgrow it, and they simply must enter the world in their new form or they will whither to a spark or fragment of what they could have experienced.

The important thing in life is this; to be willing at any moment to sacrifice who we are, for what we could become ~ Charles Du Bois

I don’t know the limits of what I can become…but I am willing to find out