This is the continuation of an article I wrote on Valentine’s Day called Manifesting the Love of Your Life, in which I outlined the process of creating your love list and invited you to take my beliefs about love questionnaire to help you determine what energies are operating in your love life.

Armed with your list of what you want in a romantic partner and the belief systems you have about love that have been playing in the background you can now determine how close of a vibrational match you are to getting what you want.

Most people find incongruities at this point…and end up facing the fact that many of their thought patterns (while living in the same space) are in direct conflict with one another. With their energy so divided…it’s easy to see why they’ve been getting the results they have been.

Bringing it all to a clear space, is what I’d like to talk about next.

Adopting the Attitude of Heart-Centered Living

What most of us really want is relationships in which we feel safe to be ourselves, in which we can let down our walls and in which we don’t have to hide or guard our vulnerabilities.

This viewpoint can actually constrict our ability to love ourselves and others due to the amount of attention and energy we spend toward trying to be safe.

In heart-centered living, we don’t have to try to be safe because we let the feelings of life move through our hearts, seeing both pleasure and pain as part of the human experience. This viewpoint moves us into closer connection with ourselves and others as we are no longer occupied with rejecting, avoiding or otherwise resisting our life’s situations.

The most common ways people tend to get it wrong are:

(A) Not knowing how to safely experience pain and
(B) trying to find someplace outside of themselves in which to be safe.

You Are the Only One Who Can Break Your Heart

Relationships are often filled with these two motivators, fear of being hurt and the search for a safe haven. So will this person break your heart or will they be the safety you’re searching for?

The answer is neither. Your partners actions can not break your heart. Only you can do that. Pain is resistance to whatever we are experiencing. It is how we interact with, interpret and give meaning to the events in our lives that causes us to suffer as a result of pain.

Pain in and of itself is a good thing, it is a warning system that is there to give you information about your environment.

Emotional pain happens when we create a restriction of the flow into and out of our heart system by not fully acknowledging, feeling and accepting our emotions. When our emotions are not fully expressed, the energy of the heart becomes blocked and contracted creating a sense of isolation and aloneness.

You break your own heart by rejecting life and this in turn disconnects you from your inner being…so when you find yourself immersed in judgment, rejection, pain, grief and other emotions that make you want to contract, bring kindness to yourself and comfort the part of you having the feeling. Don’t abandon yourself…be there for you by accepting and being present with your feelings.

The Spiritual Levels of Sexual Partnership

Sexual union and marriage on a spiritual level can be visually understood by observing the yin-yang symbol which represents opposites that are mutually rooted within the same system, transforming into one another while always holding the balance that creates the whole.

A marriage, or intimate relationship represents the process of two becoming one. Sex is the closest we get physically to this spiritual experience.

When you enter a relationship, your commitment is not to the other person as much as it is to the process of becoming whole…this is where we often become confused. We’re not loosing ourselves, giving up or otherwise being unfairly treated as our egos would have us believe by being in a relationship…instead we are surrendering our lives over to our authentic selves and sacrificing our egos so that our separateness becomes one, spiritually.

This is about riding the line of our connectedness…or our bliss. The goal is to stay centered in that connected space. When we keep our beingness and consciousness on that line we create rapture…and through the doors of rapture resides the timeless space that is the gateway to both life and death. In essence, sexual union represents this timeless, whole state of rapture…the death of separateness and a re-birth into a state of wholeness, which on the physical plane is the energy of creation itself.

As you can imagine, the ego has no vested interest in going down this path which is why you need to be the one calling the shots…

So how do you want to show up in a relationship? Which version of your current reality will get you closer to being whole? Is it the story of love’s past, of your broken hearts, of your bad luck or is it something else?

Putting it Together

Creating something else requires us to view our role in a love relationship from a more empowering perspective.

Much of this is accomplished by aligning ourselves with the higher level spiritual truth behind the desire to be in relationship with a partner…the opportunity to consciously experience our spiritual wholeness on the physical plane.

So now that you know what the real goal is, are clear about what qualities you want in a partner and the beliefs you held around love that have been interfering with creating the kind of relationship you want, it’s time to tap into your personal power and determine how you want to show up, so that you can get different results.

Choosing How You Show Up in a Relationship

The following exercise is useful for determining possibilities and filtering through them for the most empowering results.

Enter a meditative state, close your eyes, relax, breathe deeply and see yourself surrounded by protective white light.

Travel in your mind through time and space, to a place where you can see stretched out far behind you, a path that represents your life so far.

Out in front of you is the myriad amount of possibilities that could unfold. Stretch your hand out before you, and set your mind toward how life would look if you were living it as your most loving self.

The possibilities respond to your thoughts and begin to reorganize, reaching up to touch your hand and as they do, you see a movie of what life is like in each of them.

Try on as many as you like, get curious about them and study their differences until you find one that fits you. You’ll know by the energy and love you feel in your body as you experience it.

Once you’ve found it, examine the actions you take from this possibility as well as the thoughts and beliefs you hold as this most loving person. Notice what is happening in your life as a result.

When you are satisfied, make a commitment to yourself to allow your consciousness to reside in this possible reality, by building a bridge between it and your present circumstances.

Create a vision board that represents what you saw and felt as your most loving self…allowing it to flow into manifestation through the power of your conscious choice and intent.

Remember, you are one who is in control of and designing how you show up in life and in love

As always, feel free to share your thoughts and experiences!

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A few years ago I read the Architecture of all Abundance by Lenedra Carroll. Although this book had a profound impact on me at the time, one line, however, would prove to be somewhat life altering even beyond the scope of an already amazing story.

I was working on a recording project when it was recalled and I kid you not, it was like one of those skies parting moments, when everything changes and angels speak. It hit me like a ton of bricks crashing down on my head, leaving me in dumbfounded confusion, as I sat face to face with my own unconscious resistance to the word artist…

Remember that you are an artist.

The Resistance

Why would I have a problem with this word? I wondered. I’ve always loved artists…and in fact, spent a lot of time working with them. I questioned what this was really all about as I followed the trail further back through time.

A part of me began to speak through my memories. My youngest of watching and being attracted to singers and performers on television as a child, then there was the strong link to music when I was a teenager and how I used it as an extension of my own voice, onto actually working within the music industry as an adult in which I witnessed others use it as an extension of their souls.

I started to notice my pattern with both the written and recorded form of the arts. I could see how deeply connected I was to these artistic expressions and how I admired those who had the skills and talents to create in this way. At the same time I was able to look at my own past attempts at expressing myself in these mediums. The reason why I failed to bring this aspect of myself into the world was perfectly clear…I had never considered myself an artist.

I could acknowledge it in others but not within myself…without this form of inner permission I was seriously impeding my ability to create…not only in an art way…but in any way at all.

Learning to Embrace My Inner Artist

The revelation came as I began to prepare my audio project for iTunes. There in the artist box was my name. I sat in my chair with the quote from Lenedra’s book flowing inside my mind and in one great ah-ha moment…I felt, I knew…that this was true.

Breathing into it deeply, I allowed the word artist to move with my breath into the depths of my being, permeating my every cell with it’s higher level meaning and creating within it, a wonderful vehicle for the movement of my soul.

The Art of Life

So why was it so important for me to be able to call myself an artist?

An artist is able to surrender completely to the energy of creation which is always flowing between a state of contraction and release.

An artist aligns themselves with that flow, channels it and uses it to create new solutions, reroute their current path and overcome limitations.

This ability to become fluid in perspective, identity and context aligns them with a deep universal truth.

The keys to freedom, and the way to unlocking our own prison doors lies in matching our nature to Nature.

Our egoic tendencies trigger resistance as we attempt to keep ourselves separate from the totality…our true selves recognize that we ARE the totality…and that all we really ever need to do is tap into that and flow.

These qualities are something that each and everyone of us is here to express. Your artistic or creative side is an important part of yourself to integrate regardless of who you are or what you do as it will often determine how you show up for life.

Questions to Ask Yourself

How close are you to being able to acknowledge your own inner artist?

If you’ve not yet done so, what stops you?

If you found some kind of fear, ask yourself what holding onto that is getting for you?

And as always, feel free to share your results and experiences

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There once was a girl who sensed she had some hugely important reason for coming to this world and being in this life.

She loved to write poetry and stories and eventually interpreted the meaning of that sense of a big reason as a call to become the next Stephen King or J.R.R. Tolkien. So she wrote and she wrote. She wrote dozens of stories, poems and even a novel; submitting her work to various magazines and publishing houses.

She found a watch in Writer’s Digest magazine that had a caricature of Tolkien on the front, large and cartoon-ish and she put that watch out in front of herself saying, when I finally publish a story I will buy that watch and it will be my outer symbol of success.

She received dozens of very nice and often encouraging rejection letters and the situation which she had created in her head to achieve her symbolized success never came about. In fact, too hurt to continue with it, she got away from writing altogether for a time.

Years later she unconsciously picked it up again, issuing press releases and writing bio’s for others. Her writing was effective and was able to convey something deeper even within a factual format.

One day she looked back and realized that while her attention was diverted toward using her gift to promote the voice of others, she had become “published” in many magazines, newspapers and journals across the country and that yes…she was even a paid writer.

However, she still didn’t feel like she knew her own voice…so she started focusing her writing into herself, using it as the scalpel of her focused attention, performing surgery on her outer layers, effectively tearing into her own flesh down to the level of her soul…finding out who she is, what she’s really made of and uncovering the source of the voice within her.

After about a year of fully concentrating on writing for self-discovery, she was invited by Albert Foong the Urban Monk, to participate in a writing project about compassion. The prize of The Now Watch was allotted to the judges’ favorite submissions and her entry was one of six to receive the watch.

A smile comes from so deep within her that she wonders at the source of it and at the way spirit moves to validate us on our paths.

You see, she was born with a gift (as are we all), a key to that would reveal a purpose or way of being in this world.

However it is the nature of the door to swing both ways in accordance with attachment, judgment and intent, so this gift when used in the service of the ego was a source of great pain and when used for a higher purpose altogether; a pathway of unimaginable joy that has the power to take her deeper and deeper into the center of her being.

A note from the author:

My most heartfelt gratitude and appreciation flows forward to the three monks; Albert, Kenton and Wade; for their project and the process of participating in it, brought to full circle, this great learning and at the same time has gifted me with a reminder of the tremendous value of presence within the only time that really exists…the now.

Spirit certainly has a way of getting our attention, using symbolism and a communication system that is customized for us alone while at the same time sending messages for others…like the great spiritual teachers that through conversation with one student also speak to everyone witnessing…touching each in a profoundly personal way through a singular event, I believe the Spread the Love Now! project to be one such event

Namaste

Sacrifice and the LoA

Most of us in the personal/spiritual development realms are aware of the Law of Attraction and how it works. What is less obvious perhaps is that it was once known under a different name and practice…sacrifice.

The idea of sacrifice conjures up a lot of unpleasant images for most of us, as it is a practice whose heart and spiritual significance is vastly misunderstood by the modern mind. So if you find yourself getting uncomfortable right about now…let me explain.

Make an Offering

The Law of Attraction operates on the principle that we are constantly making offerings to the universe…most of which are unconscious in the form of our thoughts. If you want more of something, you find what you currently have in your life which represents the more of what you want, place your attention on it and create a congruency within your thought patterns to support it. Then you cast it out into the universe…you let it go and trust that what you have given will return to you in a greater magnitude.

It is the same with the concept of sacrifice. Ancient peoples quite literally took the best of what they had and gave it back to the universe in a spiritual communication that is as old as time. The ritual surrounding the preparation of their offerings and the thought that went into selecting the appropriate items for surrender placed an enormous amount of attention on the understanding that life is an exchange of energy…a dance and that when energy is given, something new is produced. They performed the process using the body and mind, combining both spiritual and physical elements to enter a place of unity that lives deep within the human psyche.

Acknowledgment: The Heart of the Offering

Both the Law of Attraction and sacrifice embrace the concept of acknowledging that you already have something of what you want (hence the offering) and within that acknowledgment is the understanding that the universe is capable of producing more. They also both involve a trust factor…a making of space, a letting go, a release that sparks new growth in the area of your desires. It is then placed firmly within the hands of their perception of God, and the rest as Einstein so aptly put it…are details.

Getting Stuck on the Details

Seeing how instruction or various other input from us is not needed to create a tree or fish it is also reasonable to suggest that the whole of what we want doesn’t require much from us to create…and that the details are best left within the realm of the divine.

Micromanaging what you manifest limits your options. It takes something with infinite ways of showing up and forces it to travel down a traffic clogged roadway, where it is likely to get stuck in the congestion, placing it at the mercy of the environment and severely limiting its chances of making it through to its final destination.

Yet this is what many of us do with our requests…we funnel them down to exactly how we want them instead of allowing the universe and the infinite intelligence housed within it…to surprise us. It’s no wonder so many people become disillusioned with the process.

Creativity: The Art of Holding Space and Letting Go

I discovered a method recently when I was knee deep in the creative process that I think accurately portrays the art of holding space and letting go. We are by our very natures, creative beings, and what I’d like to demonstrate here is that creation comes effortlessly when it is coupled with space and intent.

I was working on the concept for my new web site when I stumbled upon this method. I wanted to be extremely clear about who I am and what my mission is and this required me to distill it down to its very essence. I needed to get to the heart of it, to journey down several layers within my unconscious mind and translate what was there into the words and images that are its perfect energy match.

I started out by loosely holding the images and feelings I resonated with for the site while going into deep trance. In the trance state I found myself beside a great rectangular pool of unimaginable depths. It looked Greek in architecture, beautifully tiled in white and with aesthetically placed giant columns along the side. I walked to the front of the pool and lined up one of the things I was working on, literally taking it out of my mind and body and placing it on the tile right next to the waters edge.

I backed up a few feet and sat down to watch, cross legged in meditation. I simply observed with no expectation other than wanting to see truth. Sitting there, holding the meditative state I was peacefully detached, empty, open and free.

Effortless Return

Eventually the item I placed began to change. Sometimes it levitated off of the ground and morphed into something else right before my eyes. Other times the item was claimed and swallowed up by the waves of the water lapping against the tile only to return as something new traveling along the surface of its white crested tips. And once when the offering was particularly well received, hands like those of the Lady of the Lake appeared with a gift from the depths of the pool.

Each time I exited my trance state the items I went in with had been transformed…and imbued with a new energy that gave me something more to work with. Increasing my clarity with each image I placed…until I was absolutely certain I had what I was looking for.

I think that what I’ve found with this experience is that the secret to an effortless return lies in entering a state of curiosity about how life comes up to meet the mind that’s seeking truth

What do you think?

Image by Stephane De Bourgles

Creativity as a State

Creativity is a state of resourcefulness. It is a field where one has access to more of themselves, their ability and their connectedness to the world around them. This state is achieved by climbing up through the neurological levels of physical environment to the level of connected oneness with all things (or of seeing yourself as part of a larger system). This can be done through meditation, an activity of great enjoyment, using the body in a way that is physically challenging or a series of questions as it is done in coaching.

There are many ways to access it, but the key attributes that these activities share and must produce in order to successfully bring about the state are: cessations in the stream of thought, mental space, focus, body awareness (i.e. the way that the activity feels, the emotions it produces and or the locations of the feelings associated with the activity), an increase in energy and a sense of being safe and alive.

How Do We Experience Creativity?

New ideas pop into the mind when the mind is relaxed, empty and still. Often times when we are having fun and completely engrossed in the moment they will appear. Sponsorship and space provide the necessary support for inspired thoughts to come into being. Creativity also requires down time. Time spent daydreaming, drawing, scribbling, writing, puttering, meditating, singing, playing and walking in nature…are all examples of activities that are often associated with the creative state.

Cultivating creativity requires stepping away from structure and allowing yourself to be free of time for periods. Maybe you indulge in a nap or a cup of tea on the couch while doing nothing but cuddling your cat…you may not think this is anything special, in fact you may beat up on yourself for engaging your time in this way but it is exactly this kind of space that is necessary for new ideas to come.

The most vital components that I have noticed are the cessation of mental chatter and the kind of doing that leads to a sense of enjoyment. These states are similar to meditative or trance-like states, it’s a return to the source. When we touch home and connect to our origins in that way…we exist, fully centered, in the flow of life. In these moments we receive transmissions…often times in the form of ideas.

The Creative Environment

In my training we used techniques that explore the process of taking something that exists in the imagination only and forging it into a physical existence that directly influences the experience of others in a positive way.

The models that we used uncovered methods of interacting with ideas from the perspectives of three separate entities, with very different points of view, but ultimately the same goal. Through these exercises I became extremely interested in the conditions that encourage people to get creative.

One of the first things I understood is that people need to feel safe in order to dream and that most dreams are torn apart before they ever get a chance to sprout their wings…so I’m going to talk about sponsoring the dream, and how to stick with this position long enough to let the dream develop fully.

Sponsoring the Dream

In order for a dream to fully flourish the proper sponsorship needs to be in place. Sponsorship is an attitude of support, in order to provide support, you need to be fully connected to yourself. In martial arts this connection is often called “your center”. When you loose “your center” you begin to loose resources. Obviously, it is difficult to offer support cut off from your own resources…this connection or center is what allows for responsive engagement.

Sponsorship is about seeing and fostering potential, acknowledging and blessing something that does not yet fully exist, developing a curiosity around how it will evolve and creating a receptive and safe place for that evolution to occur.

The basic attitude of sponsorship is acknowledgment: You exist, I see you, you are valuable, important, special, unique, you have something important to contribute, you are welcome here, you belong, it is possible for you to succeed, you are capable to succeed and you deserve to succeed, are examples of positive sponsorship.

This is turn creates the emotional responses necessary to be truly creative: a sense of relief, relaxation, feeling centered, at peace, satisfied, motivated, energetic and safe. Sponsorship is important because when a person feels like they are a valuable, contributing member of a system (of something larger than themselves) the sense of well being they experience, produces an environment for creativity to flourish.

The Dreamer: What is Possible?

Being really creative requires the ability to dream. For this to occur you need to step out of reality and pretend for a moment. This releases your mind from the constraints of what you’ve learned is possible. You are then free to let it get as large and imaginative as it can go…the biggest and best of what you can conjure up. Your objective at this point is not to be realistic, it is to let go of your map of the world and step outside of the box.

To assist you on this level your focus will be on the what of your dream, your thinking will be visual and big picture oriented and your attitude is one of anything is possible.

Cultivating the Dream

The dream is not the place for the world, life and rules that you know…it is the place to create something in alignment with the higher order of things. Take this idea and plant it firmly in the ground of possibility. Let it grow, let it mature and when it is mature…you will step out of the dreamer and into the planner and then out of the planner and into the critic.

As you do, the idea will be pruned and trimmed in a way that makes it stronger, the bed in which it is planted will be weeded and other complimentary ideas will begin to grow with it.

Many of us don’t know how or when to start pruning and sever the foundations of our dreams before we know which limbs they need in order to grow. Every dream is infused with it’s own form of life, a distinct energy, that needs to be observed in order to be acknowledged. Bringing out the planner and the critic in a way that works with the dream rather than against it, is the art of keeping the dream space safe, an act of reverence and sponsorship that holds the key to creating something concrete and achievable of an idea that previously existed in the mind alone.

Creation myths around the world start with empty space…by an act of the divine that most cultures view as sacred, life comes forth from the void. Similarly, an idea comes forth from empty space as a seed or spark within the imagination that grows into a dream. Consider where these gifts of the divine might take you when they are treated with reverence and seen as the acts of creation they really are…